This is not Good Bye, instead it's Farewell...

Hello,

         This is to the members of the class "Communication and Collaboration in Early Childhood Education."  I am so blessed to have spent this short period of time getting to know you and learning your stories.  I wish you all well in the future. I hope that you are able to make all of your dreams come true, just believe in yourself and it will happen.  Thanks for reading my posts and sharing your comments.  Good Luck! This is not Good Bye, instead it's Farewell!

Communicating and Collaborating in the Early Childhood Field (EDUC - 6165 - 2) Saying Goodbye...

               This week we have been discussing what it feels like to be a part of a group.  Furthermore, it was requested that we mention what group we have been a part of that we found it difficult to separate from the group upon completion of the assignment.  I carefully considered this assignment, and I have come up with only one group of people in my life that have been consistently there for me through thick and thin….my family.  My family is made up of a group of people that God has blessed me with abundantly.  My father has taught me what a “real man” should be like.  My mother has taught me how to conduct myself as a lady.  My brothers have instilled friendship like no other, ensuring that I will always know that they have my back.  My family is the one group of people that would be hard to leave. 

            High performing are very hard to leave.  My family has very clear, established norms.  Also, everyone in the family cares and are concerned about the wellbeing of the others.  It’s not just a thing where we are there for each other for five years and then we want nothing else to do with the others.  We are all in it together forever.  Yes, we have disagreements, but we choose to not hold onto silly things that could damage our relationship. 

            When I separated from my family to head off to college in Greenville, I was heartbroken.  I still remember crying myself to sleep when my parents dropped me off that night.  I imagined that it would be hard to life without them.  However, with time it got better.  Even from a small child, my parents taught me to pray my way through the difficulties of life.  Praying is gotten me far today.  Life has a way of throwing things at you that you are not always ready for, but what helps me is remembering that some things are only in your life for a season, even some people.  Life is like a tree.  The leaves are those people that tend to come around when everything is going well, but they never intend to stay when things get hard.  The leaves change colors, and often times fade away.  The branches are a little stronger that the leaves, but if they are handled the wrong way they will brake as well.  However, the roots of the tree is the foundation.  The foundation is where it all started, and my family is my foundation.  No matter what time of day, no matter how difficult the problem and no matter who it involves there is a strong foundation in my family that will always be there for me.  It was also taught to me to always so “I love you” to my loved ones.  We never knew when it would be one of our lasts days, therefore it was important to say these words upon adjourning to ensure that we knew it if one of us were to go.  Every moment that we spent together was a special moment. 

            I thank God for the four other people that he blessed me with.  I could not have been blessed with a more loving and consist set of people.  My only wish is that one day, when I have a family of my own, I am able to create some of the same qualities and characteristics within my children as my parents created within me.  I want my husband’s love for me to be so strong that NOTHING can ever come between us.  I want my son to know that when things get tough, you stick with it and not give up.  I want my daughter to realize that she does not have to settle for anything less than the best.  More importantly, I want my future family to realize that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes because it is a part of the growth process. But, the thing about making mistakes is owning up to it and then dusting off and moving on.  So many people hide from their mistakes because they are afraid that someone will find out and judge them, but only God can judge you.  Therefore, be grateful of the life that you have lived and learn from your mistakes and love everyone.

Communicating and Collaborating in the Early Childhood Field (EDUC - 6165 - 2) Effective Ways to Argue

            For this assignment I was asked to think on an argument that I had with someone and create two new resolutions of how I could have handled the issue.  I will first admit that I have learned so much about communicating effectively sense I have been in this class.

            Typically, I try not to argue with people, I just walk away.  However, there is an argument that stands out in my mind that I don’t mind sharing.  I have a friend, that for the sake of writing this paper I will just call her Charity.  Charity and I were friends since as long as I could remember which means we practically grew up together.  One day I found out some information that was being said about Charity.  Being her best friend, immediately I wanted to share it with her, but I was not sure if that was a wise move.  Therefore, I did not share it right away, instead I took a couple of days and prayed over it.  One day we were hanging out and having a good time.  I figured this is a great time to tell her the news because she is in good spirits, and I decided to tell her the news. She became so angered with me yelling and using profanity at me.  Naturally, I tried to walk away and she followed me.  After the escape route did not work, I began yelling and using some choice words myself.  I knew right away that telling her was the wrong thing to do but it was too late to regret and too early to apologize.  We both needed to take a minute and calm down first.  Moving forward, maybe about six months later we ran into each other at the store and somehow we just picked right back up where we left off.  It was as if we had been talking all along, and no one ever apologized for the issue. 

            From this communications class I have discovered different methods that I could have used.  Here are just a few that I will share with you.  A healthy debate will allow each person to share their opinion without yelling and arguing.  Have specifics and limitations about the relationship so each person knows how far to go, and what not to say.  Consider the various communication channels.  Sometimes you can just send a text and never have to see the person but you got the message out.  Corporation and compromise to resolve the issue.  Focus on specific issues and stay on the subject.  Sometimes preparing yourself is a good way to review the facts.  Consider the alternatives. It does not have to be your way or my way, but let’s create a new way.  In the future my plan is to try one of these methods.

Communicating and Collaborating in the Early Childhood Field (EDUC - 6165 - 2) Three Assessments and Two Others...

         For this week’s assignment, we were asked to take three different assessments: communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness and listening style.  Then, I was required to ask two additional people to take the test and compare the difference between my results and theirs.    Therefore I choose my Assistant Teacher in my classroom.  Although, we just met in August of this year, she has experience the way I interact with the children as well as the parents of the children.  The other candidate is a new friend that I spend a lot of time with.  He gets to see how I react in the public, when I am shopping, eating or simply just relaxing around family.  The results were simply amazing.

            From the communication assessment inventory the results surprised me the most.  It was the most scattered results of the three tests.  My results ranked me at a low score, and I just keep thinking that I am my worst critic.  The comments for low says that I feel comfortable and confident with my communication.  My assistant’s results said that I was a mild communicator.  It states that I might feel uneasy in some situations, and somewhat confident in others but I have no real worries.  Finally, my friend rated me at a moderate score.  His thoughts stated that I am concerned about a number of contents.  When I think about it, I can see how all three might apply to my communication aspects, but the closets one to me is my assistant’s score.

            According to the verbal aggressiveness test all three of us obtained the same result which made me feel good.  I am a moderate communicator which means that I have a good balance between respect and consideration for other viewpoints.  Also, when I argue I do it fairly by attacking only the facts.  This is very true for my situation.  I am very respectful, and when I argue I try to have all of my ducks in a row. 

            Finally, the listening styles test is another were all three of our answers matched.  We all placed me to be in the group one which states that I am people oriented.  Some of the characteristic for this is that I am empathetic, I build relationships easily and I am very trusting.  However, it says that I allow my trust for people to interfere with me making proper judgments.  I agree with this category for myself as well.

            For this assignment I gained knowledge of how others view me, and even how it compares to exactly what I think of myself.  I feel like I am a great communicator but just as others there are some improvements that I could make.  On a professional level, my goal achievement is to ensure that the message that I am sending matches my verbal and nonverbal body movements.  I want to ensure that I never have a cultural myopia moment, but when I meet others who do I am aware of how to handle it.  Also, I want to be sure that I am using my abstraction ladder.  I want to think tings through before I say anything to ensure not to send the wrong message.  On a personal level, I plan to be more patient with others.  I want to make sure that people read my first impression experiences correctly, and also that I am not too hard on others when I am making the first impression.

Communicating and Collaborating in the Early Childhood Field (EDUC - 6165 - 2) Communicating with others of different cultures

As I learned previously in the week, the Platinum Rule states that we should do unto others as they themselves would like to be treated (O'Hair 2012).  Furthermore, a more familiar rule is the Golden Rule that states we should treat others the way that we would like to be treated.  I have already mentioned earlier in the week but I will state it again, I really don’t care for either of these rules because if a person does not fully understand how they should be treated than they will never know how to treat you.  In other words if you don’t love yourself first, how can you ever really love someone else?  At this point in my life I feel that I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless to how you feel about yourself.  I only associate myself with people that realize respect, kindness and love should be provided freely and not earned.  Our world would be so much better if it were surrounded by people who knew how to love one another rather than “put on shows in front of others.”

The assignment for this week is simply to explain how I communicate with those outside of my culture.  Personally, it has always been easier to communicate with those who are similar to my culture.  However, professionally, I find myself going out on a limb for the people who are different from me.  For example, in my classroom this year I have several students that are not fluent in English.  Whereas, English is the only language that I know.  I want every child to get the most out of the program so I find myself doing a little more to ensure that we are able to understand each other.  When I schedule parent teacher conferences, I try to have a translator present so if there are any questions on either side they can be answered.  I had found a website where I can type a letter and click one button and it will change my entire letter from English to the language that I need it to be.  I invited the families into the classroom to review the basic numbers, letters and objects in their language with the children.  This allows the children to learn and have fun at the same time.  I have purchased a dictionary to help me brush up on my language as well. Because these children and I somehow ended up together I have pushed to allow them to reach their highest level of potential and I plan to do anything and everything that I can to ensure that they do. 

Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communicating and Collaborating in the Early Childhood Field (EDUC - 6165 - 2)

For this assignment I was instructed to watch an unknown show with no sound.  I choose to what “The Have and the Have Not’s” by Tyler Perry.  I picked this particular show because I have been meaning to watch it and never actually got around to doing so.  I watch two clips on YouTube. The first clip was titled, “Candice turns the table on Jim.”  The other clip was called, “Veronica fends for herself.”  I was very curious to know if this show was as good as so many people say it is.

In the first scene there was a woman, Candice, who was on the phone with a man.  She was smiling and laughing and seemed very happy to speak with him.  Later, he handed the phone to another gentlemen.  This is when she looked to become angry and became yelling.  Her face looked as though she was up to know well.  Also, without knowing any of the characters I thought the first man was her boyfriend and the other man was someone who she had kidnapped.

In the second scenario, Veronica looked as though she had enough.  She wanted her boyfriend out of her house but he would not go.  Her facial expressions looked very serious and she seemed to not being playing around this time.  Also, the man looked very fearful.  The way this clip ended it really draws you in and makes you wonder what happens next.

After watching both the scenes again with sound I found out some very useful information.  In the first scene, I seemed to have been right. The lady on the phone and the first man that she was talking to were in on it together for the kidnapping of the other man.  However, it did not go into details about their relationship.  In the second clip, turns out that she did in fact want him out.  As well, Veronica had threatened to kill his entire family if he did not leave.  Finally, through speaking with someone who actually watches the show on a regular basis I learned some additional information.  Candice and the man that was kidnapped was actually having an affair.  In the second scene Veronica was tired of her boyfriend coming around drunk which is why she wanted him out.  I think if I were watching the show more I would have known more, however my assumptions were pretty accurate.

EDUC-6165-2,Comm & Collab Early Childhood 1st Blog Assignment

For my blog assignment, I was tasked to think of someone who has competent communication skills.  There is one person that comes to my mind right away…my mom.  My mother is one of the best communicators that I know.  She has always been more concerned about what is right and less concerned about who is right.  She is completely honest and all times, regardless to who it offends.  There is a reason for what she believes, and her tone of voice never changes.  She knows how to listen and not over talk, but how to respond on the topic at hand when it is her turn to speak.  She does not use a lot of body contact, but maintains great eye contact.  She never gets tired of communicating until the conversation has ended.  The one thing that she does that I do not like is that she expresses affiliation for others which often times lead to her own tears.  I absolutely hate to see my mother cry, she has a huge heart and I don’t want anyone to take advantage of that.

Competent communication is more process than outcome-focused.  When in school I always remind my students that I really don’t care about the product they have created, I am more concerned with the process it took to get there.  There are so many relationships that have been tarnished because people simply are unaware of how to communicate effectively.  If a person is yelling at you that is not such a bad sign, when they walk away from you is when you should be worried.  Only cowards really walk away, a person that really cares about you will stay to the end to communicate the issue at hand.  If the person walks away, you were much better off without them anyway.  Ethics is the study of morals.  Believe it or not, not everyone has developed the morals needed to communicate effectively.  These are things that children must be taught.  I can honestly say that I have never seen my parents agree, because they have always done it behind closed doors.  When a child is aware of adult issues it allows them the opportunity to take sides of something that they have absolutely nothing to do with anyway.  Behavioral flexibility allows knowing and using a number of different behaviors to achieve the desired goal.  Teach children that it is ok to disagree but there is an appropriate way to do so. 

As for myself, I feel like I am a work in progress.  One day I would love to be able to communicate as well as my mother, but I am not there yet. There are times when I get frustrated if I am misunderstood or even judged.  I do raise my tone, and might even take a deep breathe.  But, the point that I am trying desperately to make is that I am human, and that we all have fall short at one time or another.  However, one thing that I will never do is walk away from a person that I love.  I feel that is the most cowardly thing a person can do.  You really see who your loved ones are when they “show their true colors.”  Communication is a skill that must be learned in all fields of professionalism.  How well do you communicate?